Most people are kinder & more patient than we think

Image

Caption

Arthur

Although growing up with a stammer was challenging for Arthur Mynott, things got better over time, as he explains here.

I stammered a lot when I was at school in the late 1960s and early 1970s and it really affected my self confidence, amongst other things. Lots of children used to make fun of me, apart from a few close friends, so much so that I didn't partake in a lot of activities that involved speaking. I became very shy because I was ashamed of my stammer.

I did have two separate sessions with a speech therapist, both of which were over about five weeks whilst at junior school and these did help a bit. My most vivid memory is of reading a book in front of the other pupils in class, which happened soon after one of these sessions, and I won a prize for being the most improved reader. The prize was a children's book called 'Chunky' which I still have to this day. The whole experience improved my self esteem no end. 

In secondary school my nickname was 'Fifi' because on words starting with F that I used to struggle with I used to go "F-f-f" before I could say the actual word. However, I could swear perfectly without stammering at all!

On these occasions I generally practise my speech whilst on my dog walk in the middle of a field where no one can hear me. 

I found that things do get better, though, and in the last twenty or so years I have chaired many meetings, spoken at various events and even given presentations at conferences, etc. I still get anxious if I'm in an audience of people I don't know and want to ask a question but have learnt to take my time, which helps me control my speech.

I have also spoken at my daughter's wedding as Father of the Bride and as Best Man at my eldest son's wedding. On these occasions I generally practise my speech whilst on my dog walk in the middle of a field where no one can hear me. If I find a word that is going to give me trouble, I then alter the word or sentence so I know I won't then struggle with it. 

The main reason for telling you my story is to say that while things might seem hard at the moment, it won't always be like that. And never be afraid or embarrassed of your stammer. In my experience, most people are kinder and more patient than we think and are very understanding.

Read more Your Voice articles.

Would you like to write an article? Tell us about your journey with stammering or share your opinions, poems, art, music, etc? See Submit Something For The Site or email editor@stamma.org for details.