From silence to strength

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Matthew

Global trainer Matthew Wilkinson tells us how being open about his stammer and facing his fears helped him embrace it.

Growing up, I learned the language of silence far better than the one spoken aloud. I was so comfortable on my own, in my deafening silence. A stammer turned my words into musical beats; each pause a moment for others to fill with laughter, impatience or judgement. It wasn't just the stammer, though, it was the quiet that followed. I thought if I didn't speak they wouldn't notice. But my silence made me stand out in all the wrong ways.

I was the boy in school who dreaded the morning and afternoon registers. Not because I didn't know my name, but because saying it felt like climbing a mountain in front of a crowd. Bullies circled, honing in on every pause, every stumble, every fragment of a sentence that refused to align itself neatly. It wasn't just words I lost, it was confidence, self-worth, and the belief that I had a voice at all. "I'm fine just here, please leave me alone".

Leaning into fear

Fast forward to today and you might not believe that the same boy — the introverted stammerer, terrified of speaking — is now a global trainer. Yes, doing that thing I hid from: talking. I talk to executives and teams in boardrooms and virtual calls across the world every day. I guide them through workshops on leadership, communication (oh the irony there) and accountability. I stand in front of strangers, all eyes on me, and do the very thing that once terrified me: I speak, and I bloody love it.

One day, I realised that the stammer wasn't the enemy, it was my fear of it that held me back.

How did this happen? The truth is, it didn't come from 'overcoming' my stammer but from leaning into it. For years I fought it. I tried to hide it, speak around it and avoid situations where it might show up. But the more I hid, the smaller my world became. One day, I realised that the stammer wasn't the enemy, it was my fear of it that held me back. On that day my mother finally snapped and said, "You can either let it take over you for life or stand up and do something". 

So, I made a choice. I decided to do the things that scared me, even if it meant stammering in public. I raised my hand in meetings. I volunteered to give presentations. I started conversations with strangers. I stopped apologising for my pauses and started owning them.

Talking about it changed everything

One of the most transformative moments in my journey came when I decided to address my stammer openly. Instead of pretending it didn't exist, I began my presentations by sometimes acknowledging it.

The impact was immediate. By naming the thing I feared most, I stripped it of its power. People responded with empathy, patience and encouragement. By embracing my stammer, I found that others embraced it too. It became part of my story, not a flaw to hide but a testament to resilience.

Doing what scares you

If there's one lesson my stammer has taught me, it's that growth lives just outside your comfort zone. Every day I pushed myself toward the things that terrified me. It wasn't easy, and it wasn't quick. There were moments of embarrassment, frustration and doubt. But every time I did the hard thing, I chipped away at the fear.

By embracing my stammer, I found that others embraced it too. 

Bit by bit, I stopped seeing fear as a barrier and started seeing it as a guide. If something scared me, it meant I needed to do it. Fear wasn't a sign to stop; it was an invitation to grow.

Stammering as a strength

Today, I view my stammer as a strength. I am unique. It taught me patience, both with myself and with others. It taught me empathy for anyone who struggles to express themselves. It taught me the value of preparation, perseverance and authenticity. And most importantly, it taught me that you don't have to be perfect to make an impact.

As a trainer, I connect with people of all levels because I know what it's like to feel unheard. I help them find their voices because I understand the power of using my own. My stammer didn't go away, but it became a bridge instead of a wall. And for that, I'm grateful.

So, if you're reading this and are feeling trapped by your own fears or limitations, know this: the things that scare you can become your greatest strengths. Lean into them. Talk about them. Do the hard things, every day. You'll be amazed at where they take you.

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