Using The Phone If You Stammer

Tips for making or answering telephone calls if you stammer.

The phone is a source of dread for many people who stammer. Knowing that you have to make a call or that the phone at work could ring at any second might fill you with anxiety.

Without visual cues, the person on the other end can't see if you're struggling to get a sound out. They might jump in and speak over you, or worse, hang up thinking there's a bad line or that they've been cut off. This can be frustrating and humiliating. These practical suggestions might help.

On this page:

Preparing to make calls
During the call
Receiving calls
After the call
Reasonable adjustments for work calls
Calling 999
Resources

Before reading on, try and remember that you have the right to speak and take all the time you need. You don't deserve to be treated badly on the phone because you stammer.

Preparing to make calls

If you need to phone someone and you're anxious about it, think about what you want to get out of it beforehand. What do you need to communicate? Plan roughly what you want to say so that you're ready. If it helps, have key points written on paper in front of you.

If you're feeling tense, try relaxation or breathing exercises before making a call. Breathe in through the nose slowly, hold it for a few seconds then breathe out through your mouth. Tense, then relax, any areas of tension. For example, drop your shoulders. All this can help to reduce your heart rate, and feel calmer and less tense.

Try phoning a friend or relative before making the big call. This may help relax you, get your vocal cords working and put you in the right frame of mind for phoning. Or why not call the STAMMA helpline and practise with one of our fantastic volunteers? Tell them you've got a difficult call coming up and you'd like to practise. Call free on 0808 802 0002.

If you've got a number of calls to make, list them in order from easy to difficult. Start calling the ones you fear the least then work your way up.

Don't keep putting off the call you need to make. It will only become even more difficult and stressful.

Bhupinder

During the call

Try and concentrate on what you have to say, rather than worry about stammering.

Don’t worry too much about silences, as they occur in all conversations. Try not to rush yourself to fill silent gaps quickly.

If it feels comfortable, it often helps if you make the other person aware that you stammer. They'll then know to wait if there are silences. It could make you less anxious too — you won't have to spend the call worrying about what they'll do if you stammer.

You could mention it at the beginning of the call, or during it if you find things difficult. For example, you could say: "I have a stammer, so if there are any silences, I'm still here". Don't apologise for stammering though.

Your tone of voice makes a difference. Keep it warm and friendly if you can. Smiling can help with this (even if the other person can't see you!).

Use a mirror. If you're near one, or if you have a pocket mirror, look into it while you're on the phone. Use it to notice any areas of tension in your body and try to relax those areas.

If other people are around you, try and concentrate solely on the call. Accept that others may hear and see you block, but don't allow their presence to distract you from your phone call. Try not to assume what they might be thinking. They're likely to be concentrating on their own jobs.

Be kind to your listener. Try not to rush through what you have to say so they can absorb it more easily. Don't be angry at them if they don't understand what you say at first.

Receiving calls

This is something you have less control over. However, even here you can ease some of the pressure.

Answer the call in your own time. You can choose when to pick up the phone when it rings. Leave it for a few rings if that helps to steady your nerves, and take a breath before picking up.

Don't be afraid of initial silence if you struggle for your first word. It's quite common for someone to not speak instantly when picking up.

Use a reminder. You could put a sticker on or next to the phone, for example. That way, when you go to pick it up it, the sticker reminds you to use any tips or techniques you find helpful.

A man in a coffee shop talking into a mobile phone

Rodney

After the call

When it's all over, try not to focus on how much you stammered during the call. Instead, think about the outcome. Did you get the message across or the information you needed? Did you give the other person what they wanted?

Try and focus on that achievement rather than how you think your speech was. Be kind to yourself.

Practising

Fear of using the phone can often be the worst part of it. But the more calls you make, the easier it often becomes. Make loads of easy calls to build confidence. Call family and friends. Or you can phone the STAMMA helpline for free on 0808 802 0002.

A step up from that could be phoning shops or restaurants and asking them what time they close, for example. Note the response you get — does anybody say anything about your stammer? You'll probably find that the majority of people react positively.

Reasonable adjustments for work calls

Does your job involve making or answering phone calls? If you find this difficult, you can ask your employer for 'reasonable adjustments'. These are changes they can make to accommodate your stammer.

For example, you could ask them to let you make calls in private. Or you could ask not to use a set script.

I decided to try rewording the opening line to make calls less difficult for me. My employer was understanding and receptive to my needs.

Read Jamie's article on getting a reasonable adjustment for phone calls at work.

Download the 'Reasonable Adjustments: guide for employees' below. There's also a reasonable adjustments form. Fill this out with the adjustments you'd like, then email it to your employer. Or start the conversation with them in person.

For more information, see our Reasonable Adjustments For Stammering page.

If you have any questions, or if you have any problems with your employer, school or university, get in touch. Contact our Employment Support Service and we'll try and help you get the adjustments you'd like.

Calling 999

If you struggle to speak when phoning 999 in an emergency, there are a couple of things you can do.

Firstly, when phoning 999 a recorded message will give you the option to respond by coughing or tapping your device. Or by pressing 55 on your keypad. These let the operator know that you can't speak and it's a genuine emergency. They'll put you through to the police.

Or you can contact emergency services by text. Find out how it works on our Contacting 999 & First Aid page.

Resources

Text Relay

Text Relay is a service that allows you to type instead of speaking on the phone.

Some people might not like the idea of others talking for them. But, if you are really struggling to speak on the phone, Text Relay can help make it more accessible.

See our article Text Relay service if you stammer to find out how to use it, or visit Ofcom's website.

Orla

Apps & fluency devices

If you're looking for something to make speaking easier or to increase your fluency, you could try an app. Download one to your smartphone and use it when making phone calls. See our Stammering Apps & Devices page to find out all about them.

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Don't accept bad treatment

Have you had a negative reaction to your stammer when phoning a shop or service? Let us know. They may be in breach of the law.

We can help. Go to our Advocacy Service page and fill in the form to tell us what happened. We'll help you decide if and how you want to challenge it.

Tell us your tips

Do you have any other tips for using the phone? Email them to editor@stamma.org and we'll consider adding them to this page.

More support & information

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