Therapies & courses have made me proud of the way I talk

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Graeme

Choreographer Graeme Pickering writes about his stammering journey and the variety of approaches which have helped break down the barriers between the world and his stammer. 

For as long as I can remember, I have always stammered. It has gone through many stages during my life, sometimes in an overt way and in others more covert. When I was a child, I had regular speech therapy which helped my younger self understand what my stammer was and work through the challenges I faced when navigating day-to-day life. 

My mum took me to music classes and I used to do amateur dramatics at school, which was an informal therapy in a way. The creative outlet and freedom to be alive with character allowed me to see my stammer as part of me and not something that would stop me achieving my dreams. 

I went on to train professionally in musical theatre and after graduating I performed in various shows around the UK and overseas. It allowed me to see the world and I have been lucky enough to perform on a cruise ship sailing from Southampton to Sydney and back. 

The creative outlet and freedom to be alive with character allowed me to see my stammer as part of me and not something that would stop me achieving my dreams. 

To this day, I work within the industry as a creative and I am always trying to grow representation of stammering in my field. The entertainment industry has become more educated in diversity and inclusion within casting and the work that is happening is excellent. However, this is often done through choosing visible over invisible diversity. I am passionate about having a conversation with everyone I meet about stammering, and encouraging producers and directors to consider representing people who stammer, helping them to realise that differences are not always visible. Without this platform, we struggle to educate the wider audience to be fully inclusive. 

Finding an approach that works for me

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Graeme on an Empowering Voices course

In recent years, through personal circumstances and having gone through a pandemic, I feel I had lost my way with my stammer and my relationship with it had taken a turn for the worse. I used to feel my stammer was a part of who I was, but I began to not like this part of me. Over the past year, however, I have worked to find more time for myself and my stammer. As a person I am very inquisitive, hungry to learn and love facing challenges head on, and I have been eager to explore the different types of stammering therapy and courses out there. 

This summer, I was introduced to Empowering Voices, a new charity that offers courses in costal breathing for people who stammer. I was interested to meet with the organisers and find out more. I joined their first course in Peterborough this October and found the whole experience very positive. The course works to celebrate yourself and your voice whilst focusing on your breathing. The supportive environment allowed me to feel safe to be open and honest about my stammer. 

By working together and talking about our stammers, we continue to break down the stigma and celebrate our voices. 

As someone who stammers, I often notice that I can speak very fast and I seem to lose the ability to breathe fully to fill my lungs and diaphragm with air. I often find my brain is working faster than my mouth is able to keep up with and the world we live in spins faster than my stammer can manage. But on the course I learnt to stop, reset and get back to a pace which I feel calms me down. 

I found that a beautiful part of Empowering Voices is the community of people who stammer, who are like part of a family. The support from the group is wonderful. Everyone there wants to help each other and keep a positive approach and environment. I found this truly wonderful. 

Since the course, I have found the support network very helpful in refocusing myself to breathe deeper again and keep the pace of my speech at a steady rate. I find that when you leave courses and go back to the fast pace of the world, it is very difficult to put what you have talked about and worked on into practise. Sometimes, the day doesn’t allow you to go at your own pace. However, being able to access the support network allows me to continue the work I’ve been doing. 

Breaking down barriers

I’ve found that going on the Empowering Voices course, and accessing other stammering therapies over the last year, has empowered me to be proud of my stammer and how I speak. My stammer is my diversity and makes me who I am. Without it, I may not have found a love for theatre, which I am grateful to call my career. 

Sometimes, what others might describe as an obstacle can lead you to break down barriers and achieve more than you could ever have dreamed. Having access to a variety of speech therapies and courses, all ultimately with the same purpose of helping people who stammer, is absolutely fantastic. By working together and talking about our stammers, we continue to break down the stigma and celebrate our voices. 

Empowering Voices is one of a number of courses available for people who stammer. Read more about the range of options on our Adult Group Stammering Courses and One-to-one Adult Speech & Language Therapy pages.

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