For Parents

For Parents

Learning to talk, like learning to walk, doesn't always go smoothly. Here's some information about what stammering is and what you can do if you are concerned.

We have information leaflets for parents which you can read and share with others. Download them here or order physical copies for free here.

    What is stammering?

    It is normal for a child to repeat words and phrases, and to hesitate with "um"s and "er"s, when they are sorting out what to say next. Around 8% of children - that's one in every 12 children - will experience stammering, particularly between the ages of two and five. 

    Stammering, or stuttering, is when your child:

    • stretches sounds in a word ("I want a ssstory.")
    • repeats parts of words several times ("mu-mu-mu-mu-mummy.")
    • gets stuck on the first sound of a word so no sound comes out for a few seconds ("...I got a teddy.")
    • puts extra effort into saying specific sounds or words. You might notice tension in the face eg around the eyes, lips and jaw.
    • holds their breath or take a big breath before speaking, so their breathing seems uneven
    • uses other body movements to help get a word out - they might stamp their foot or move their head. 
    • loses eye-contact when getting stuck on a word
    • starts to try to hide their stammer: they might pretend they’ve forgotten what they want to say, change a word they have started to say or go unusually quiet

    These types of stammering behaviours will vary from child to child, can start gradually or very suddenly and may come and go over time. Around 75% of children will go on to speak fluently, either spontaneously or with the help of speech and language therapy.

    My Stammering tap

    Watch the video 'My stammering tap' below for a fantastic visual description of what it's like to stammer. It was produced by NHS Humber Foundation Trust and Fuzzfeed, as part of its 'Hear in Hull' project to promote stammering awareness.

    Supporting your Child

    There’s lots you can do to help. Here are some suggestions which can help to reduce some of the pressure a child may experience when talking.

    When talking with your child

    How you and others respond is important and will shape your child’s perception of themselves. Be measured in your response - try not to show you’re worried even if that’s how you’re feeling. Remain calm and relaxed and try to:

    • slow down your own rate of speech, but don't tell your child to slow down or take a deep breath
    • have one-on-one time (just five minutes every day) with your child, where they aren’t competing for attention with tasks or other family members 
    • ask one question at a time and give them plenty of time to answer
    • use short, simple sentences.

    When listening to your child

    Resist the very strong temptation to show anxiety, impatience or to correct or fill in their speech. Try instead to:

    • keep natural eye-contact 
    • listen to what your child is saying, not how they say it
    • pause before answering questions
    • make sure everyone in the conversation gets a turn to speak
    • acknowledge speech difficulties with reassurance and encouragement, if that feels right for you and your child. You might say something like, "Learning to talk is quite a hard thing to do - lots of people get stuck on their words and that’s OK. You’re doing really well." 
    When to act

    Ask for your child to be assessed by a Speech and Language Therapist if you are concerned or if your child is worried. The earlier you act the better, especially since there can be a bit of a wait before your child is seen.

    A Speech and Language Therapist will be able to advise if your child needs therapy and can help you and your child make sense of what's happening. While lots of young children will grow out of stammering, it can still be hard for you and your child, and therapy can help. 

    It's not easy to tell whether your child is going through a temporary stage of stammering or whether the stammering might continue.

    Signs that suggest the stammering may continue and your child would benefit from some help include:

    • Your child is aged between 2 and 3-and-a-half and the stammering continues for more than a few months and becomes more noticeable.
    • A family member stammers or used to stammer.
    • Your child has some speech sound difficulties.
    • Your child is aged 3-and-a-half or over, and has just started stammering.
    Getting help

    If the stammering is causing you or your child distress, you can refer your child directly to a local therapist or ask your doctor or health visitor to do this for you. Speech and language therapy is available free of charge on the NHS, but push to see if you can find a therapist who specialises in stammering. You may have to wait several weeks before being seen, since most therapy departments have waiting lists. The visit will be relaxed and informal.

    The therapist will first want to find out as much as possible about your child and assess your child’s speech and language skills through observation and play. Based on results from this first meeting and discussions with you, the therapist may decide to offer you advice and arrange another appointment in a few months’ time or offer some therapy.

      finding a Therapist

      To find out details of your nearest NHS Speech and Language Therapist, give our helpline a ring, free, on 0808 802 0002, weekdays 10am-12pm or 6pm-8pm or look online. For example if you live in Leeds, you could search for ‘Children speech and language therapy Leeds’.

      Other sources of support

      The British Stammering Association Closed Facebook groupmoderated by BSA staff and volunteers, this provides a space for people to share experiences, ask for advice and talk openly about stammering. It's a 'closed' group, so any posts made in the group are only seen by group members. Parents of children who stammer often find it helpful to connect with adults who stammer

      UK Peer to Peer Support Group for Parents of Children who Stammer: a Facebook group specifically for parents of children who stammer to support one another and share their experiences, thoughts and ideas. It's a closed group so only members can post and respond.

      The Michael Palin Centre for Stammering: this specialist service provides assessment and therapy programmes for children, young people and adults who stammer. It has an informative website plus helpline in operation weekdays from 9am to 5pm (020 3316 8100). Consultation service also available to families of children who stammer throughout the UK.

      Action for Stammering Children: informative website on all matters related to stammering with focus on children and young people. 

      Association of Speech and Language Therapists in Independent Practiceplace to go to if you're looking for a private speech and language therapist. Best to use the advanced search to find a specialist speech and language therapist.

      Therapy for pre-school children

      Therapy for pre-school children depends on the needs of your child. Two main ways of working include:

      • Indirect therapy. This is where the therapist works with you in creating a more communication-friendly environment for your child. A common example of this type of approach is the Palin Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (pdf).  
      • Direct therapy. This is where the therapist works directly with your child to help them speak more easily. You'll play an important part in supporting your child use these skills every day. One example of direct therapy is called the Lidcombe Programme. For short periods each day you’ll learn how to praise stammer-free speech and gently request that your child self-corrects stammered speech. 

      Wondering what will happen at a speech and language therapy assessment? Read our article 'Taking your child to a therapist: what to expect', written by a Speech & Language Therapist.

      Therapy for school-age children

      For older children, therapy results will vary. For some children, their stammer will eventually go and they’ll become fluent. Other children might continue to stammer but therapy will help them to manage their speech and feel confident to speak. In general therapy aims to help children to:

      • feel good about talking, stammering and themselves
      • use techniques to stammer less, to increase fluency and/or to stammer in a relaxed, easy way and not let it bother them
      • become a confident and effective communicator.

      What to expect from therapy

      Working directly with your child either one-to-one or in a group, the therapist will plan therapy to suit your child’s needs. It is likely to combine some of the following elements:

      • Understanding speaking and stammering: your child will learn how speech is produced and what they do when they stammer.
      • Making speech changes: the therapist may teach your child to speak more slowly, flow words together and make sounds in a relaxed way. Or your child might learn how to ease through tense stammers more easily.
      • Reducing avoidance: the therapist will encourage your child to try some of the words or situations they may have avoided due to a fear of stammering.
      • General communication skills: your child will learn that good communication depends on more than fluency and includes skills such as listening, making eye-contact, taking turns and how to start and end conversations.
      • Addressing the emotional side to stammering: the therapist will teach your child ways they can work with unhelpful thoughts and feelings and discuss strategies to cope with any bullying or teasing.

      Being involved in your child’s therapy

      Therapy is likely to also include some work with parents or the family as a whole. Making changes to how the family communicates (for example, working on taking turns to talk and reducing interruptions) may be helpful for the child who stammers. Therapy will involve ‘homework’, which parents will be expected to help their child with, but this will usually be in the form of games to make it fun for your child. 

      The therapist may also contact your child’s school and give teachers advice to help support your child in class. They might even support teachers to talk to the rest of the class about stammering, particularly if your child is being teased or has experienced unhelpful responses at school.

      Read more about what happens at a speech and language therapy assessment in our article 'Taking your child to a therapist: what to expect', written by a Speech & Language Therapist.

      The bilingual child

      Bilingualism in children is where the child has been spoken to, or speaks, two or more languages. This includes children who have been spoken to in two languages in the home, or where they have a home language that is different to the language spoken at school, in the nursery or creche. 

      Millions of children across the world speak more than one language and young children are easily able to learn at least two languages at the same time. 

      Being bilingual does not cause stammering, as lots of children learn two or more languages and don't stammer. We know that up to 8% of children stammer at some point - this will include bilingual children. Many young children learning to talk will stammer more when using longer, more complex sentences or learning new or longer words. 

      Managing early stammering in a bilingual child is the same as managing stammering in a child who speaks just one language. Also, do continue using two languages at home and let your child mix up the languages, which is natural for bilingual children.   

      If your child is showing signs of stammering and you are worried about it, it's best to seek advice from a Speech and Language Therapist. If your child needs therapy, this should be carried out in the language most suited to your child and family. Call our helpline on 0808 802 0002 (weekdays 10am-12pm or 6pm-8pm).

      Writer? Artist? Photographer? Volunteer? Or looking to connect with others locally or online? Get in touch. Everyone is welcome.