Changes for stammerers

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Heidi

Heidi Bristow tells us about setting up her own course for people who stammer, as well as the challenges and discrimination she faced at school and in the workplace.

You know that moment when it just clicks; you know what you want to do, you find 'your thing'. Well, that's how I felt when I first started coaching and supporting fellow stammerers. It just brings something out of me that I didn't know was there.  

Over the past 27 years, I have supported people who stammer and recently launched my own company 'Changes', bringing my years of experience and training together to offer new courses for adults, with ongoing support. It uses a Natural breathing technique which helped me with my own stammer, and which I have tried and tested on pilot courses, one-to-one and on a mini-course earlier this year.

I learnt two days into a job that a solicitor had only employed me to deal with unhappy customers on the phone, as they would soon get fed up with me and hang up.

I came across it by chance after reading an article about 'Natural breathing', a technique being used to help people with long-term illnesses — nothing speech related. I read with interest and wondered whether this focused breathing could help control stammering. I instantly started doing the breathing technique on my own, played around with it and used it to try and control my speech. It worked for me! I loved it! It was a different type of breathing to what I had used on previous courses I had been on. I was inspired — over the years I enhanced and developed it further. I felt so comfortable and confident using it that I felt I had to share it. 

Following my dream

I planned to launch my own courses a good few years ago, but due to unforeseen circumstances it got put on the back burner. In the meantime, I started my own cake business — even picked up a few awards. I am proud of what I have achieved, but it did nothing for my speech. Cake making can be isolating and was keeping me away from what I truly wanted to do.

So last year, I decided enough was enough. I needed to follow my dream. I needed to turn what I'd been doing for years into courses and reach more people. I reduced the number of cakes I made, ensuring I got my own speaking time to enjoy using the technique, while getting everything in place.

It is not a cure as there is no cure for stammering, but it feels wonderful to have some control.

I started supporting others one-to-one and ran a mini course, and just loved it. The feedback was wonderful. Some of the comments I received included: "The technique was easy to use", that they "liked how it sounded" and they "felt confident using it", with one saying they "felt in control of my speech". They even called the course "modern".

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Jim & Katie, attendees at one of Heidi's 'Changes' courses

I just love the technique, love using it and love teaching it! It is not a cure as there is no cure for stammering, but it feels wonderful to have some control.

My background

My love of and ability to support and coach fellow stammerers was realised over 27 years ago when I started on The McGuire Programme (a course for people who stammer). A year after starting, to my absolute surprise I was asked to take on the role of the UK Regional Director, something I would never have seen myself doing. I learnt a lot about myself in the role, and this was where I found 'my thing'. I just loved it. I will always be grateful to its founder Dave McGuire for seeing something in me that I hadn't seen in myself.

It was about a year after leaving The McGuire programme that I came across the article on Natural breathing.

Going even further back, my stammer started as a young child. I remember hating being taken out of class for speech therapy, which put more attention on my stammer. I have memories from my schooldays of when the teacher would ask me to paint rather than read to them. I also recall being told I couldn't have a speaking part as Mary in the Christmas play as I was too short (I obviously knew the truth). 

I remember feeling very alone with my stammer and I don't want anybody else to feel that way.

At secondary school I used to ask friends to answer the register for me, and to skip me out when reading around the class, hoping the teacher didn't notice.

I felt the frustration, tears and the feeling of "Why me?". But I was lucky to be surrounded by support.

A vivid memory of speech therapy in the 1980s still sticks in my mind. It was a break time and a selection of chocolate bars were put out for us. We were told that we had to ask for the bar we wanted by name fluently to be able to have it. We were a group of teenagers attending speech therapy in the summer holidays who had all experienced ridicule and humiliation at some point. This did not sit well with me. Having to 'perform' to receive a treat? That feeling still lingers.

Getting a job led to more challenges and was definitely crueller than school. I learnt two days into a job that a solicitor had only employed me to deal with unhappy customers on the phone, as they would soon get fed up with me and hang up.

At other interviews I was told I had the qualifications, I was the right fit, BUT I stammered, so no.

I attended a City Lit course in the late 1980s, which made me realise how much people did for me speech-wise. It was after this that I moved to Southampton to work in a hotel. A challenge for sure — but a turning point in my speaking confidence — when I realised how much I could do. 

Working as a Conference and Banqueting Manager, I was told that I wasn't paid as much as my predecessor because I stammered. 

I always went above and beyond — in every job — feeling I had to overcompensate.

I remember feeling very alone with my stammer and I don't want anybody else to feel that way, nor do I want anybody to feel they have to overcompensate. That's why I started Changes — to make a change.

To find out about the courses for adults and what they offer, or to contact Heidi, visit the Changes website. 

For other options in stammering therapy and courses, including The McGuire Programme, City Lit and others, see Help For Your Stammer.

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