Book review: Stuttering: from shame & anxiety to confident authenticity

Image

Two reviews of 'Stuttering: From Shame and Anxiety to Confident Authenticity' by Hanan Hurwitz. Volunteer Bill shares his thoughts later, but first, our Web Editor Steven's view.

How can you accept your stammer? This can be the big stumbling block that prevents many from living a happy life. If you're wrestling with this question, 'Stuttering: From Shame and Anxiety to Confident Authenticity', a new book by Hanan Hurwitz, could go a long way to help.

In the book, Hanan explains how he made peace with his stammer having spent forty years living in fear of speaking. He made it his mission to get to the root of this fear and lays out everything he's learnt and realised since. Things like the power of community, self-compassion and Mindfulness are just some of the things Hanan puts forward as things that could help you too.

For this isn't a straight narrative about Hanan's journey, it's also an effective and thought provoking self-help book on how to accept a stammer (without the exercises and blank pages). Hanan poses questions and makes suggestions to help the reader start to think about their own attitudes and how they can be reframed.

This is a much-needed and helpful handbook that anyone wanting to live more easily with their stammer would benefit from.

It's worth pointing out that Hanan is scathing about the role of the therapist, whom he blames for reinforcing the stigma that was planted in him when he was young, following bad therapy experiences. This is something many readers who might be having therapy now, or have had it recently, might not recognise, as therapists nowadays incorporate much of the strategies that have helped Hanan — challenging negative thoughts and reframing things through Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, for example.

Hanan's newfound eagerness for being proud to stammer openly might seem a step far for some, but even if you just want to feel okay about your stammer, this book provides plenty of food for thought.

All in all, this is a much-needed and helpful handbook that anyone wanting to live more easily with their stammer would benefit from. It succeeds in getting the message across that our happiness doesn't and shouldn't rest on stammering, that finding community can be transformative and that there's an alternative way of framing things that can help you to be more accepting of your stammer.

A Volunteer's review 

We asked volunteer Bill McMillan to give his thoughts on the book. Here's what he said…

At first glance I thought I was in for a heavy, technical read about stammering. I was wrong. 

'Stuttering: From Shame and Anxiety to Confident Authenticity' starts with Hanan describing his fear and extreme discomfort when having to introduce himself to a room full of strangers whilst on a course, which immediately resonated with me. So too did his admission that he used to find it hard to listen to other people stammering; he couldn't even look at the dreaded 'S' word in print, such was his fear around it. From thereon, the book proceeds at a good pace, well written and full of incidents lots of people who stammer will relate to. 

Hanan was middle-aged before he started trying to overcome his fear, realising that this was the real problem. His ventures into therapy were not good. Hanan says therapists wanted him to be fluent and seemed annoyed when nothing worked, effectively telling him he wasn't trying. Hanan says he felt that he had let them down. A three-week course in 'intensive fluency' only succeeded in making him more afraid and ashamed of his stammer.

He even includes the lyrics to a blues song he's written about saying your name; this book is certainly not dull! 

To me, the most interesting chapters are on Mindfulness and Buddhist meditation, and how to accept and embrace his stammer. He still meditates every day and learned to have empathy with himself and not be afraid.

Another section I particularly enjoyed was the part where Hanan explains how difficult it can be to say your name. He even includes the lyrics to a blues song he's written about it; this book is certainly not dull! There are light-hearted parts which sit well with cartoons from Willemijn Bolks, herself a person who stammers. The acknowledgements of people Hanan found helpful, like Brené Brown, have sent me to the internet to find out more about them.

Hanan has achieved a lot of things and is no longer shackled by the covert stammering behaviour he used to display. He seems a highly-driven person who has devoted much of his time and energy into reaching a position where he's embraced his stammer. I came away wondering if this would be attainable for everyone. Would those who might not have Hanan's energy and drive, or those with illnesses to contend with too, be able to do what Hanan has achieved? However, Hanan does acknowledge that speaking out without worry is a very big ask and says that even if people can only cope doing a part of this they will have done well.

Overall, I got a lot out of this book. I have had to make a few public speeches in my life but the fear is still there, so with this there is a lot more to think about. It includes some very good phrases which Hanan has picked up, including this, my favourite, from Brené Brown:

"Let go of who you think you're supposed to be and embrace who you are."

You can buy 'Stuttering: From Shame and Anxiety to Confident Authenticity' , by Hanan Hurwitz, on paperback and Kindle now.

Read about the story behind the book in Hanan's article for our Your Voice section.