Even if one person benefits from my book, that is enough

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Hanan and the cover of his book

Hanan Hurwitz tells us the story behind his book 'Stuttering: From Shame and Anxiety to Confident Authenticity', and what he hopes readers will take from it.

Sometime in 2022, a friend of mine posted this quote from US author and researcher Brené Brown on her social media page:

"One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will be someone else's survival guide."

The quote resonates with me. It hooks me, but in a positive way. With my stuttering and my overall experience of stuttering, I have been through quite a number of challenges in my life. It is difficult for me to explain my deep fear and trauma of stuttering, or, more precisely, the trauma of the struggle with stuttering.

I often have flashbacks to situations where I was not able to get a word out, and anxiety that I will face such situations again. One of the many situations that I remember well is the time that I attended a workshop on marketing. We were sitting in a circle facing the workshop facilitator. I was sitting at the end of the row. The facilitator asked us to introduce ourselves, and started at the other end of the row. As my turn came closer and closer my anxiety rose. Would I be able to speak? How would other people react? Should I even be here, with these people who do not stutter?, I thought. 

The possibility of my experience being a survival guide for someone else is a very powerful motivation for me.

The fear and helplessness of that situation and many others like it are so visceral. The bodily sensations that accompany that trauma are at times overwhelming in their intensity and in their potential to make me withdraw once again from connecting with other people.

I know that my experience is not unique to me and is shared by most other people who stutter. I feel fortunate to have survived and even to have thrived, thanks to the teachings of Brené Brown and many others.

My book

Along the way I have been fortunate, too, to impart to others some of what I have learned. I continue to have a desire to share what I have learned with other people who might be going through experiences similar to mine. That's why I wrote my book 'Stuttering: From Shame and Anxiety to Confident Authenticity', which is all about how I've learnt to accept and embrace my stutter.

The process of moving from shame and hiding to pride and to confident authenticity is a cognitive one and it takes time. 

The possibility of my experience being a survival guide for someone else is a very powerful motivation for me to share the attitudes and philosophies that helped and continue to help me. Even if only one person benefits from reading my book, then that is enough. 

The journey

The term 'Journey' is used by some to describe a process of self-growth and personal development. Personal development is not a specific goal but rather a continuous path, and even a way of life. The journey, the process of moving from shame and hiding to pride and to confident authenticity is a cognitive one and it takes time. 

It is also not a linear process, as there will likely be regressions, and feelings that the situation is hopeless. Therefore, we should practice self-compassion and loving kindness towards ourselves as we take the time needed to make this journey. It is better to go down this path with others. Isolation might reinforce our original belief that we are not good enough. That journey helps us grow, cognitively and emotionally, brings us relief from negative self-judgement, and there are many communities of people who stutter out there where we can find the support and understanding that we might need on this journey.

Letting go of perfection

I know that I need to embrace what I saw was my own imperfection. I am still learning, still very much on my journey. I am enjoying the process and I know that I will learn more. Perhaps if I had written this book one year in the future, I would write things differently, or even add to the writing. This letting go of perfection is an important lesson for me. I can revise and rewrite until the end of time, but I can also decide when I feel that the writing is good enough. There will always be room for improvement, but in order to move forward, in order to try to help others, a time must come when I find the courage to publish this writing and embrace any criticism or suggestions for improvement that will come.

The important person here is You. Whether or not you are a person who stutters, I hope that you will read something in this book that you can apply in your own way to your own unique being, for your own benefit and wellbeing.

'Stuttering: From Shame and Anxiety to Confident Authenticity' by Hanan Hurwitz is available on paperback and Kindle. Read our review of Hanan's book.

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