Blog: Nervous about coming to STAMMAFest Global?

11th July 2022

Going to a stammering conference for the first time can be nerve-racking. But it could well be one of the best things you can do, writes our Web Editor Steven.

Update 14th August: Sorry, we are no longer taking bookings for STAMMAFest Global.

Are you feeling nervous about coming to our conference, STAMMAFest Global, on 24th-28th August? Maybe you're in two minds about booking because you're anxious about meeting a lot of new people or being judged on your stammer. You're not alone. Here, previous attendees tell us about their first time conference nerves and what they got out of the experience. Hopefully their stories will give you an idea of what to expect so you feel a bit less anxious about coming. After all, everyone's in the same boat.

Let's hear from Lesley first… 

Lesley:

After watching The King's Speech, I googled 'stammering' for the first time in my life and found details of the conference. I never booked it of course — we covert stammerers have avoidance techniques well-ingrained into our psyches. It took me a further four months of deliberation before I actually booked.

I felt like I belonged; a network of friends — people who stammered like me. I could block or I could freely stammer and people didn't care.

I had stammered for 40 years and in that time I had only met two other people who stammered. But at the conference I met many. The social side was intoxicating and I felt like I belonged; a network of friends — people who stammered like me. I could block or I could freely stammer and people didn't care.

The main thing I came away with was the acceptance and the incredibly liberating sensation that people 'got' me after 40 years of not having that. It was like the 'looking in on a fluent world window' had been removed. I realised that it doesn't matter that you have a stammer — the only barrier is how you feel and your perception of your own self worth. The conference, and meeting people who stammered, removed that barrier. Durham 2011 really did change my life.

Andrew:

Being one of the first to turn up at the start of the conference, I watched as more and more people arrived, and could feel myself becoming more and more nervous around so many new faces. These were irrational fears — after all, everyone there either stammered or knew someone who stammered. But I started to become comfortable with my new surroundings and venture out of my comfort zone.

The conference gave me an insight into what I was missing by holding myself back due to my stammer. Every single person I spoke to had so much time for one another, so much respect. By rarely entering into similar social situations, I hadn't experienced this before. 

The conference gave me an insight into what I was missing by holding myself back due to my stammer.

It taught me more than I could imagine and showed me how much damage I was doing to myself. It's going to be a long journey but I wear the green wristband we were given every day as a reminder of what we can all do with a little bit of support. As a result, I'm now more comfortable with my stammer and look forward to my next speaking situation.

• See the STAMMAFest Global workshop programme so far

Krishna:

As a first time attendee, I went to the conference not knowing what to expect. I signed up mostly because I'd heard from other people who stammer online that going to a conference was an experience they cherish and highly recommend. But I was still apprehensive. How many times would I have to introduce myself? Would I have a good time?

I arrived in the evening when people were just finishing dinner and I was met by the Chief Executive who made sure I got a plate of hot (and very good) food that I ate whilst sharing awkward conversation with people I didn't know. I then headed down to the bar, still a little nervous. But the rest of the evening was exhilarating! Everyone wanted to say hello; strangers became friends — I loosened up and had a great time.

But I was still apprehensive. How many times would I have to introduce myself? Would I have a good time?

The next day was filled with workshops and presentations. Feeling much more comfortable in my surroundings, I picked the ones that sounded most interesting to me. I went in with an open mind, learned a few new things and experienced some great speakers who just happened to be people who stammered. 

At the end there was an opportunity for us to get up in front of an audience — if we wanted to — and say a few words at the open mic. I stood up and expressed my gratitude to everyone in attendance for an incredible two days. I came not knowing what to expect, but left with many new friends and a feeling of pride at being a person who stammers.

Chris:

I've had a stammer since childhood and until I went to the conference I tended to go it alone, trying to figure out my own ways to 'get by'. Initially I was a little anxious about my first visit to a BSA (Ed: British Stammering Association, as we were then called) conference, not having been to such an event before. But I had nothing to worry about. Everyone was very welcoming. 

I felt less alone at the end of the conference than I did at the start. Plus, I think I might have made a couple of friends, which is always a good thing.

Part of my going was connected to my drive to finally becoming more accepting of my voice. I felt as if I'd been fighting with it for many years. It was great to see so many people with the attitude 'Okay, I stammer, it's a part of who I am and that's okay'.

I felt less alone at the end of the conference than I did at the start. Plus, I think I might have made a couple of friends, which is always a good thing.

• See what social events are lined up for STAMMAFest Global

Amanda:

2012 was my first experience of a BSA conference and, as a person who stammers, it provided a safe zone where you could be yourself and spend time in the company of those who understood and appreciated you. I was inspired and encouraged by so many amazing and courageous people and it was great to be able to relax and experience stammering as 'normal' in a supportive and friendly environment.

...it provided a safe zone where you could be yourself and spend time in the company of those who understood and appreciated you.

For me, the weekend was a very special experience. If you have never attended a conference before and feel hesitant about booking, do give it a try. I'm looking forward to the next one!

Alex: 

The conference was absolutely fantastic. It was amazing to be surrounded by others who stammered for a few days. The social aspect was brilliant; it's not too often that you meet another stammerer so it gave a chance for us all to see what we look like from an outside perspective, helping us to think 'I don't look weird' —  a great confidence boost. 

It was amazing to be surrounded by others who stammered for a few days.

There were some brilliant speeches too which really opened my eyes. The workshops were a combination of fun and learning, a chance to talk to one another while learning a new skill or even take up a new hobby. 

I thought the open mic at the end was great. It provided a chance for us to do something we may never have done in our lives — talk in front of an audience of people, whether it was saying something big or small; truly brilliant. Cannot wait for the next one!

Tom:

What a great experience! The conference brought together people from all walks of life and it felt liberating to be able to speak about my stammer in a supportive environment. Overall, the conference was a good opportunity to reflect on my stammer, and it removed some of the isolation that I sometimes feel. It has encouraged me to become more active in raising awareness of stammering and more involved in my local self-help group. 

The conference brought together people from all walks of life and it felt liberating to be able to speak about my stammer in a supportive environment. 

Tanya:

I am a covert stammerer and I'm three months into my first job as a speech & language therapist (SLT), so for me, attending the conference was a wonderful opportunity to gain further knowledge, understanding and insight into stammering. 

It was wonderful to engage with such inspirational people...

I thoroughly enjoyed the informative, light-hearted and inspirational workshops. It was especially good to see so many people have an incredibly positive attitude towards their stammer and seeing their self-confidence and determination shine through their faces was highly motivating and uplifting.

Overall, I had a great experience. It was wonderful to engage with such inspirational people, participate in the workshops, socialise and relax in the bar in the evenings, sharing experiences. I'd recommend the conference to any SLT students with an interest in stammering.

Mandy:

After finding BSA/STAMMA by accident, trawling the internet after hearing about this movie called The King's Speech, I joined their Facebook group. How was I to know it would change my life?

A few of us in the group had already exchanged conversations but had never met before. On arrival, I met up with one friendly face and gradually over the afternoon we all met up and told each other our stories. It was quite a remarkable thing, these people I didn't really know — there we all were, probably sharing things we had never shared with another human being. But we had something in common: we all stammered.

That evening over dinner we talked and planned what workshops we were going to. It definitely wasn't quiet at the tables! The bar after dinner was even less quiet; as we Irish say, "It was quare craic!"

I can honestly say I was not prepared for how emotional the experience was. 

On the final day there was an open mic session and a few of us got up simply to say thank you. I can honestly say I was not prepared for how emotional the experience was. 

For me, the whole weekend went so quickly, spending time with a group of folk from different walks of life, just being ourselves. That is what I got out of it: finding I can quite happily be myself; that it's OK to stammer and that I am not alone in this anymore. I went home with a whole new bunch of entries in my address book and made plans to get together again, plans that we have kept. I look forward to the next conference!

It's not just first timers who feel anxious about coming — even conference veterans can get nervous, as Mikey tells us…

Mikey:

Glasgow 2014 would mark my 7th attendance at a conference. It would mark the 7th time I would be feeling the fear after getting off at the train station. But on the wonderful flip-side it would be the 7th time I would be reunited with old friends and have the chance to make new ones; where I'd spend an amazing weekend stammering openly and making some great memories.
BSA/STAMMA conferences create the unique environment where covert and overt speakers, and those practising techniques, come together; where the 'I' in "I have a voice" can become "WE have a voice".  

You may arrive feeling like a stranger but you will leave as a friend and possibly changed in ways you don't realise.

I spent my time in Glasgow talking, listening and being inspired by the courage and life stories of others. I enjoyed and embraced all the theories and thinking I encountered in the workshops. I thoroughly enjoyed talking to as many people as I could, regardless of their age, background or how much they stammered. Also in abundance were the many handshakes and hugs from people I have never met, given so warmly they felt as if they were from old friends. 

Throughout, my most favourite sounds were the unheard voices of courage, acceptance, patience, joy and compassion for ourselves and those around us. These voices were never as loud as in the emotional open mic ceremony — so many first-timers came down the steps in pairs or by themselves to speak.

So what will I take from this conference? The realisation that I do indeed have the hidden courage I don't always know I have. You may arrive feeling like a stranger but you will leave as a friend and possibly changed in ways you don't realise.

Watch this video from the 2014 conference, put together by Dean Ridge, co-organiser of this year's event.

These stories were compiled from articles in our old members' magazine Speaking Out, from 2011 to 2014. All photographs were taken at previous conferences from 2011 to 2018. Courtesy of staff members Ayo Adesanya, Sophie Mitchell and Krishna Srinivasan.