I don't want negative thoughts to take over my life anymore

Illustration of the article's author, Zara

1st October 2020

Zara opens up about her stammer, with this post from her blog.

Hello my name is Zara and I run my own lifestyle blog called 'Zara Writes'. My stammer isn't severe — I tend to stammer when I'm nervous or when I'm too excited and I say something fast and forget to breathe *facepalm*. It's something I've kept somewhat hidden from my online friends.

My stammer has controlled my life for many years and in some ways, I have allowed it to.

Up until now I have allowed others to be my voice and to talk on my behalf. I have always chosen to avoid speaking in public and on the phone out of fear of people laughing or making fun of me. If I am out with my sister, she will order my drink for me or she'll stand in line and pay when we are out shopping.

 It's something I've kept somewhat hidden from my online friends.

I've always let the negative thoughts in my mind win. Thoughts like:

'People will laugh at me.'
'I should avoid talking because I'll just embarrass myself in front of everyone.'
'I'm a failure.'

But I don't want these negative thoughts to take over my life anymore. I don't want to hide anymore. I don't want to be heard through someone else anymore.

I want to be ME.

I have a voice of my own, praise be to god, and I want to be heard.

My stammer is a part of me and now with small steps I am learning to accept it.

You can read more from Zara on her blog 'Zara Writes'. If you'd like to share your story, click here to find out how.

(Image taken from Zara's blog, with permission)

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