Talking With A Child Who Stammers

Tips for how to respond to a child who stammers, or who has just started stammering.

If your child, or a child in your care, is stammering, there are some easy things you can do at home to help them. 

It might not feel like you're doing much. But making small changes to the way you create space and talk with your child can make a huge difference. Doing the things on this page can help your child to enjoy talking and feel positive about their speech.

Reduce pressure

If a child feels pressured in some way, talking can be more challenging for them. Here are some things you can do to reduce any pressure your child may feel:

• Slow down your own rate of speech and use longer pauses. This keeps the conversation calm and relaxed.
• If they're stammering, try not to tell your child to slow down or take a deep breath. Instead, tell them that there is plenty of time, and you are happy to wait for them.  
• Ask one question at a time and give them plenty of time to answer. Show them it's okay to pause and take some time between hearing and answering questions.
• Use short, simple sentences.
• Try not to interrupt or finish their sentences for them. While it may feel helpful, if you get it wrong they have to start all over again.

Watch Kirsten from STAMMA talk more about speaking with children, in the video below. (Or read a transcript of the video.)

Value what they're saying

• Listen to what your child is saying, not how they say it.
• Keep natural eye-contact.
• Make sure everyone in the conversation gets a turn to speak.

One-to-one time

• Try to have regular one-to-one time with your child, even if it's just for five or ten minutes. Once a day is ideal, but if not, as many days as possible.
• Find time when your child won't be competing with other family members or tasks for attention. 
• Turn the TV or music off, and put phones away so that there aren’t any distractions. Make your surroundings as calm as possible.
• Find an activity where you can chat together. Build Lego, read a book, draw or do a craft project, for example. Why not encourage them to create something for our Creative Corner?

In the video below, Kirsten talks more about the benefits of having one-to-one time with your child. (Or read a transcript of the video.)

Acknowledging their stammering

If it feels right for you, it's okay to acknowledge it when your child is finding it difficult to talk. Reassure and encourage them. For example, you could say to them: "Learning to talk is hard — lots of people get stuck on their words and that's OK. You're doing really well".

Why language matters

When talking with your child or with others about stammering, try not to describe it as 'good' and 'bad'. For example, "Your speech has been really good today" or "Her stammering's been bad this week". 

Language like this can make a child feel that the way they're talking is wrong. Or that they're being naughty or are failing in some way when they stammer. This can chip away at their confidence. It could make them anxious about speaking or make other anxieties worse. A child might begin to try and avoid or hide it, which can be really unhelpful.

Instead, use more neutral words and describe changes in stammering as 'more' or 'less'. For example, "She's been stammering more this week", or "He's been stammering less today". This gives you a way to talk about changes in your child's stammer without any judgement.

More information

• Watch our video Becoming more comfortable with your child's stammering.
• Read our article on Nurturing resilience in children who stammer. It gives practical tips for helping a child to think and feel better about stammering.
• Read articles from parents.

Donate & make a difference

Creating this page was only possible thanks to your kind donations. Please consider making a donation to STAMMA. You'll be helping us to: 

• keep our support services running for people who stammer and worried parents
• put on workshops and support groups
• create guides for teachers and employers
• create our award-winning campaigns for change. 

Thank you.

What did you think of this page? Give us your feedback, we'd love to hear from you.