'A Big Hug': Our Groups For Parents

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Laura and Gabriel

Parent Laura Brown tells our comms & social media manager Neha Shaji why she wanted to raise awareness of STAMMA's Parent2Parent support groups at the Manchester Mini Run recently. 

Last month, I (virtually!) sat down with Laura Brown, mother of six-year old Gabriel. They both ran the Manchester Mini race in May with a specific goal in mind: to raise awareness about our Parent2Parent online support groups. 

Laura, who ran with an endorsement for the groups printed on her running shirt (see pictured above with Gabriel), tells me how important they were when her son first started stammering. "We'd been in speech therapy, and we were about three years into Gabriel's stammer journey by that point, and I think the therapist saw that I was struggling too."

"Not with acceptance, of course not," she continues. "I stammered as a child as well, and I knew and accepted that. But I felt that having a stammer made Gabriel very vulnerable in a sense. And I was really struggling with those feelings." 

It felt like I was in a great big hug the whole time, which sounds bizarre — but really, I just felt like my hand was being held.

After finding out about the Parent2Parent groups, Laura recounts how she spent most of her first meeting in tears: "It was like therapy, it really was. How reassuring it was to hear from parents of older children. It really gave me an insight into what life might be like, later in primary school."

We've got two Parent2Parent groups — one for parents of Preschool and Primary school-aged children and the other for Secondary school level. Laura attended both of them and found it very useful to exchange stories and experiences with parents in each group, which went some way to prepare her for how it might be for Gabriel as he progresses through school. 

Mutual support

The groups offer mutual benefits too. Whilst learning from other parents about the challenges ahead, Laura could offer reassurance to parents whose children had just started stammering, having been through that with Gabriel. 

She could also share how she managed to get reasonable adjustments in place for him at school. When Gabriel, whose vocabulary has always been impressively above his age group, started to stammer, he found it difficult when it came to information overload and verbalising. Disappointed by the initial lack of support they received, Laura didn't take no for an answer. One of the most valuable pieces of information she gave other parents at the support groups was: "When it comes to schools, don't stop. If you're not happy with the support your child is getting, then push, and keep pushing. I pushed so that Gabriel now has a Learning Journey in place, which is reviewed each year. For example, if he needs more time with verbal questions, or to avoid asking him open-ended questions. It feels really good to pass on the trial and error that I've gone through over the years".

Comfort

Laura highlights how these groups are, fundamentally, run by parents, for parents of stammering children — something that's very difficult to find. She describes how it felt "so real — because when it comes to talking with people whose children don't stammer, you always have at the back of your mind, 'maybe they're trying to make me feel better'. But with parents of children who do stammer, who do know what it's like — it's almost like their reassurance has more gravity".

Most of all, Laura lets me know, it was a comfort. "It felt like I was in a great big hug the whole time, which sounds bizarre — but really, I just felt like my hand was being held."

And perhaps it is that which underpins the entire interview: the importance of these support groups for parents who are struggling, or who feel as though they're going through it alone. They provide an important space to sit with the feelings that come with watching society exclude or dismiss your child, who is only just learning to navigate the world, let alone comprehend how cruel some parts of it can be. And with comfort comes strength, and the possibility of advocacy — like Laura tirelessly advocates for Gabriel.

STAMMA's online Parent2Parent support groups are open to any parent whose child stammers. Check out our Events page to find out when the next meetings are held. Or email familysupport@stamma.org for more information.