Why I made a film about stammering in India

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Kaushik

Entrepreneur and producer Kaushik Valluri tells us what helped him with his speech and how a relative inspired him to create something that empowers people who stammer.

I spent nearly two decades of my life struggling to speak.

Growing up in India with a severe stammer meant navigating the world with constant fear and humiliation. Some of my earliest memories involve writing the name of my bus stop on a scrap of paper and handing it silently to the conductor because I could not say the words. On other days, I skipped school entirely just to avoid reading aloud in Sanskrit or English class. Even in restaurants, I chose what I could say rather than what I actually wanted to eat. These small, daily negotiations with fear shaped nearly every corner of my childhood.

Stammering, in its quiet way, is EXHAUSTING! I found that my world shrank.

When I moved to the United States as a young adult, I hoped distance alone would free me from the shadow of my speech. But stammering travelled with me. New country, same blocks, same avoidance, same feeling of being trapped behind my own voice.

My idea for a documentary

For years, I've carried the desire to create something meaningful. That desire was shaped in part by stories of my grandfather, Viswanath Sarma Garu, a respected film distributor in the 1970s. Though he passed away before I was born, my grandmother kept his memory alive through stories of his pride in bringing meaningful films to audiences. Those stories planted a quiet seed: one day, I might create something that mattered too.

These small, daily negotiations with fear shaped nearly every corner of my childhood.

I was inspired to do just that through my involvement with The McGuire Programme. It was when I went on one of their stammering courses in 2008 that everything changed with my confidence. It didn't 'cure' my stammer — I do not believe in that idea. Instead, it gave me control, tools, a community, and a path forward I did not know existed. As my confidence grew, I eventually became Regional Director for the programme in India.

My journey would not have been possible without the guidance of instructors like Matthew Richardson from Middlesbrough and Paul Paluch from Lancaster. They were instrumental in helping build the Indian chapter, and their patience, belief and leadership shaped the person —and leader — I became. They breathed life into this mission long before the camera ever rolled.

The slow, often painful climb towards self-acceptance sparked something deeper in me. I wanted others — especially young people growing up in cultures where silence is expected and shame runs deep — to know there is hope beyond fear. That is where the idea for the documentary was born. I decided to make a film following people as they attend a McGuire course in India. A film that showed stammering as we experience it from the inside.

A film made entirely by people who stammer

I didn't know where to start until I met director Ishan Sadwelkar, a world-class filmmaker and someone who stammers himself. I remember sharing my anxiety about the project. Ishan smiled and said, "Don't worry. This will work". He was right.

The purpose of this documentary is simple: to show who we really are — not broken speakers, but resilient human beings.

What makes this documentary unique is that everyone involved — the producer, director, participants and coaches — stammer. There are no actors, no scripts, no retakes to make speech appear 'cleaner' than it is. The frustration, anger, tears, laughter and triumph are all real. Ishan captured these moments with honesty and compassion.

We wanted the world to see what courage looks like behind the pauses.

Why Deepak's story matters

You can watch my documentary Finding My Voice below. One of the central voices in the film is Deepak, a young man who moved from a small town to Mumbai with dreams of becoming an actor. For anyone, breaking into Bollywood is nearly impossible. For someone who stammers, the barriers can feel insurmountable. 

When we met him, Deepak carried both hope and heartbreak — years of rejection, ridicule and moments that nearly broke him. What struck me most was his willingness to keep trying. He showed up with discipline, grit and a desire to take ownership of his voice, even when the world made that feel impossible.

The film follows him through moments both raw and beautiful: ordering food without pointing, introducing himself without fear, pushing through blocks that once held him back. His journey mirrors that of millions who stammer, especially in cultures where expectations around speech make the struggle heavier.

Deepak's story is not just inspiring. It is necessary.

Why I made this film

The purpose of this documentary is simple: to show who we really are — not broken speakers, but resilient human beings.

People who stammer are often misunderstood. We are told to 'slow down', 'relax' or 'try harder', as if speech were just a matter of effort. But stammering is far more complex. It affects how we see ourselves, how others see us, and how we move through everyday life.

By sharing these stories — my own, Deepak's and those of other participants — I want to reach anyone who feels alone behind their stammer. I want them to know that assertive self-acceptance is possible and can take them beyond your wildest dreams. Assertive self-acceptance, in my view, is a mentality — it means accepting yourself exactly as you are, while maintaining the mindset that you can actively work on yourself to fulfil your true potential. It is about being honest about having a stammer while remaining determined to not let it limit your life or ambitions.

I want people to know that courage is a muscle you build. That perseverance matters more than fluency. And that your voice, exactly as it is, deserves to be heard.

As Maya Angelou said, "People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel".

My hope is that this documentary makes people who stammer feel understood, empowered and inspired to reach their full potential.

The McGuire Programme is one of a number of courses for people who stammer. Read more about the range of options on our Adult Group Stammering Courses.

Read more Your Voice articles. 

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