STAMMAFest was the highlight of my year

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John at STAMMAFest 2024

In a bumper Your Voice article to round off 2024, John Russell shares his diary from this year's STAMMAFest, our national conference that took place in Nottingham this August.

Thursday 15^th August 

Myself and my friend Derek from the Wokingham Stammering Support Group arrived in Nottingham around 4.30pm and I knew we were in for a memorable time.

After booking in and unpacking, I made my way down for the welcome event. It was a joy to see so many familiar faces – and some not so. There would be speaking situations galore, I thought! The conversations continued long into the evening. To be able to connect with other people who stammer is a joy I cannot put into words. 

Friday 16^th August

After a hearty breakfast and more opportunities to chat with new people, we assembled in the lecture theatre for the opening panel event 'The Power of One', led by Vee Meyners and Paul Fix from STAMMA. It was all about how change can be made by just one person, and there was an example of an individual, who uses a wheelchair, who successfully campaigned to have a ramp installed at her local bank branch. It highlighted how people who stammer can make a difference by raising awareness in their communities.

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Vee and John at STAMMAFest 2024

Following a much-needed caffeine break, I went to the workshop 'Stand up and be heard', facilitated by Rob Grieve. For many people, public speaking/presenting can be a real challenge. The important message here was: you don't have to be fluent to make a successful presentation.

To be able to connect with other people who stammer is a joy I cannot put into words. 

At the next workshop, Cathy Soreny and Emily Fox presented their film Dysfluent Journeys. Their film highlighted the importance of support for people with communication challenges and how their lives would be impacted without support. Emily uses a wheelchair and has cerebral palsy, and not once did she stop smiling or communicating with people, or expressing joy at where she was.

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Quiz night at STAMMAFest 2024

After a tasty lunch I attended a workshop on stammering and neurodiversity, by Alex Harrison and Penny Farrell. Alex is a speech & language therapist who stammers and has ADHD. They explored how neurodiversity is often perceived as a 'we have a problem here' attitude, and what society can do to become more accepting.

The final workshop of the day was on the use of Virtual Reality (VR) to support children and adults who stammer. We saw people wearing a VR headset and going into virtual speaking situations, such as a classroom, and having to answer the register, or speaking with a teacher, and becoming more comfortable in those situations. It was really interesting to see. 

• Read about STAMMA's 2024 In Review

That evening there was an evening meal and a quiz. We were all assigned our teams and whilst I was able to answer a few questions on sport and music, my team came nowhere near the top! But otherwise it was a success. Great food and conversation. 

Afterwards, Bob Adams from the Doncaster Stammering Association treated – and astounded – everyone by performing daring magic tricks in a session titled 'Beyond Magic', featuring a bed of broken glass. We all needed a drink afterwards!

Saturday 17^th August

Following breakfast, the day started with 'Our Stammering Tribe', a panel discussion led by actor and podcaster Scroobius Pip. It focused on the impact that stammering has had on the lives of the panellists, and the different ways they view and approach it. What I took away from it was everyone's determination to be accepting of their stammer, not defined by it. 

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Scroobius Pip hosting the 'Our Stammering Tribe' plenary, STAMMAFest 2024

Following MORE caffeine, I then went to 'How to be a better ally for the stammering community', led by therapy assistant Cynthia Dacillo. This empowering and heartwarming workshop was full of tips and pointers to help and support people who stammer. 

Following this was the STAMMA AGM, where CEO Jane Powell gave the audience an update on its campaigns and future aims, and officially announced its new Trustees. 

Little did I know just how emotional things would get during STAMMAFest 2024.

After lunch I attended a drama workshop conducted by Amruta Haddar. All the participants were seated in a circle, with a large, clear area in the middle of the room, and took part in fun exercises aimed at encouraging our self-expression. To conclude, we had to imagine that our stammer was in the centre of the room, in whatever way it appeared to us. One person went to pick the stammer up and then it was passed from one person to the next. Whoever had it could make their own interpretation of what the stammer was to them and how they chose to perceive it. I chose my stammer to be something that I had just taken out of a hot oven!

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John at the drama workshop 'passing on' his stammer

The last workshop of the day was called 'Why the hell would I want to tell someone that I stammer?' led by STAMMA's Kirsten Howells and volunteers Jack Nicholas and Clara Burn. It recognised that telling people you stammer isn't always straightforward and they used the analogy of a footballer throwing a ball to a teammate - the ball being the message that you stammer. When the teammate catches the ball, ie how they respond, no-one can guess what that response will be. We worked through things that could make it a more positive experience all round.

Some people might be reluctant to admit that they stammer. That they will be looked on less favourably. I am respectful of this view, and would encourage and support anyone who would want to be more open about their stammer. 

Workshops over for the day. But there was more…

Stammering Pride rally

Last year, an event on the idea of 'Stammering Pride' at London's City Lit had a profound impact on me. Its aim was to celebrate communication differences and promote the notion that we all have a voice, and that voice has to be heard.

The organisers came to STAMMAFest and put on their own Stammering Pride rally after the workshops had finished. There were several short talks and a number of poetry readings, which were very personal and inspirational. There was such a happy atmosphere of support and general togetherness, and we were invited to wear glitter on our faces in the colours of the Stammering Pride flag. I felt like a real rebel! I drank in the atmosphere, it was very emotional. 

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The Stammering Pride rally at STAMMAFest

Event over, we then had some chill-out time to prepare for the evening barbecue. 

And there's more…

At some point in the day's proceedings, I became a shoulder to cry on for a friend of mine, who I saw becoming very emotional after coming out of a workshop. I held onto my friend for a minute or so as the tears flowed, until she was able to compose herself and recover. Little did I know just how emotional things would get during STAMMAFest 2024.

The Barbecue

As I walked down the steps to the main courtyard that evening, the sun was going down and there were lots of lights coming from the gazebos that were serving food. While we queued up Bob Adams was entertaining us by blowing huge bubbles. Armed with a plate full of food, I sat down and engaged in conversation with others. 

It was one of the most amazing and memorable nights of my life.

As darkness descended, a band took the stage and started playing. I then engaged in my second favourite pastime: photography. I took several pictures of friends, and of people I was less familiar with. Their permission was sought first, of course. I was bowled over by the number of people who were happy to chat with me. It was a joy to behold. The smiles on everyone's faces grew bigger, the happiness levels went through the stratosphere and kept on going up.

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John dancing with Vee at the Saturday night event

As people took to the dancefloor, the feeling of pure elation almost overwhelmed me, and I remember having to sit down and take a few breaths. Another surprise was being told: "John, do you know how famous you are?" and being taken away for a few photos with STAMMA Patron, Arwel Richards! I was also danced off my feet by Vee Meyners from STAMMA. Strictly Come Dancing had better watch out! What a memorable and fun time that was. 

It was one of the most amazing and memorable nights of my life. In the words of Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons: oh what a night! Thank you STAMMAFest.

Sunday 18^th August

The last day of STAMMAFest arrived far too soon for my liking. The first session was a discussion on sport and stammering, with a panel speaking about how stammering impacted on their connection with sport and exercise.

The next workshop I attended, by researcher James Whitehurst, looked at how people who stammer are perceived and listened to in contexts like higher education and the NHS, exploring how there is work to be done, with awareness and customer service training for staff.

My final workshop was 'Engage with our campaigns', facilitated by STAMMA's Vee, who talked us through its campaigns and invited us to give our input and feedback. 

Open Mic

After lunch there was the final session, the open mic. It was a highlight of STAMMAFest, an opportunity for people to get up if they wanted to and say, in as many or as few words, whatever they wanted. To share their thoughts or tell the delegates what attending STAMMAFest meant to them. The open mics can be a very emotional time, but I had no idea just how emotional things would get…

This had never happened to me before, but from the moment I sat down the tears began.  My late wife Melanie – for so long a companion at BSA/STAMMA conferences – wasn't there. She would have been giving me words of wisdom. I could feel she was there, but I could not speak to her. My friend beside me could see I was crying, placed some tissues next to me and asked if I was OK. I am ashamed to say that I completely ignored her. The tears came. I wanted them to come, and to have an appreciation of what it was like to be – and feel – emotional.

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John (second left), with Trustees Paul, Peter and Gill

I got up to say a few words and finished by quoting a line from a Sting song: 'Be yourself, no matter what they say', a reference to the Stammering Pride movement. I looked up to the heavens and said to Melanie that I was at STAMMAFest, speaking, and doing my best to support myself and my friends who are part of STAMMA. I had to compose myself at the front of the stage, before resuming my place in the audience. 

I left feeling like I was on Cloud Nine.

Liverpool 2022 had been the first STAMMAFest event I had been to without Melanie, who passed away earlier that year, and that was emotional enough! Nottingham 2024 took my emotions to a level I never thought they would get to. Without question, the whole STAMMAFest experience had been one of the best ever.

Open mic over, it was the official end of STAMMAFest. Lots of hugs and handshakes followed. I went up to say cheerio to a couple of people I knew. Both of them had tears in their eyes. It had been emotional for them, for others, and me as well. Perhaps I hadn't appreciated just how emotional it would be.

A lot of time was spent saying farewell to as many people as I could. I left feeling like I was on Cloud Nine. I have yet to come down. Long may that be the case!

Conclusion

The event had been a truly international one with delegates from USA, Australia, Ireland, Japan, Iceland and the Netherlands. It was wonderful to have the opportunity to speak with many of them.

I remember speaking to a gentleman at breakfast one morning, who told me it was his first conference. "At STAMMAFEST, I feel safe," he said. STAMMAFEST is – and should be – a safe place to be who you are. 

I came away with feelings of happiness, joy and a never-to-be-forgotten feeling of respect, support and love for everyone I spoke to, in particular all the volunteers who worked their socks off to ensure that STAMMAFest 2024 was the success that it undoubtedly was. Also to everyone who presented or spoke at a workshop, and the catering and bar staff who provided us with food and drinks aplenty. I salute you all

P.S. STAMMAFest changes peoples' lives for the better!

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