My journey as a parent of a child who stammers

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Amy & Jake

Amy Nicholls writes about feeling worried when her son started school and what helped to ease those fears. She also shares the kind of future she'd like to see for Jake and others who stammer, and how we can all help to achieve it.

Stammering is often misunderstood. It's not just about the way someone speaks — it's about navigating a world that isn't always patient or informed. 

For my little boy Jake, who has stammered since he was young, it's a daily challenge that calls for courage, resilience and support. Our newest milestone has been Jake's first day of school. 

Watching my son grow and begin his journey through education has been both beautiful and emotional. His stammer is part of who he is and while it doesn't define him, it does shape how he experiences the world — and influences his own emotions, like frustration and sadness when he can't get his words out or someone interrupts him.

Fears

On Jake's first day at school, I was so nervous. Would the other children be kind? Would he be able to say "Good morning" during registration? Would he make friends in the busy, noisy playground? I cried all the way home, imagining the worst — bullying, isolation, misunderstanding. 

Even though we'd worked closely with Jake's teachers and SENCo (Special Educational Needs Coordinator), as well as having his older brother there to support him, the fear lingered. But despite all my worries and tears, he came home after his first full week with a 'Star of the Week' award for being kind and helping his friends. He received it in front of the whole school, and his classmates clapped and cheered. 

This is who he is and we love him deeply, stammer and all.

The pride in Jake's eyes, and in his brother's, reminded me that my fears were mine — not his. With the right support and space to be himself, children who stammer can thrive. They are resilient in ways that often go unnoticed. 

As parents, we've felt lost at times. I remember sitting with my husband asking, "Did we do something wrong?" and "How do we cure him?" These questions came from love and worry, but they were rooted in misunderstanding. We've since learned that stammering is neurological. It's simply how Jake's brain processes speech. This is who he is and we love him deeply, stammer and all.

A learning curve

We've worked with Jake's school and speech & language therapist, and we've taken part in webinars, STAMMA's parent support groups, and every course and app. Each step has been a learning curve, but also a reminder of how vital awareness and understanding are. Beyond the tools, it's the community that's made the biggest difference — meeting other parents, hearing their stories and knowing we're not alone.

It's the community that's made the biggest difference — meeting other parents, hearing their stories and knowing we're not alone.

I also want to say a heartfelt thank you to STAMMA. Its website has been a lifeline, full of practical advice, personal stories and expert guidance. The support groups and articles helped me feel informed, empowered and connected. Knowing there's a dedicated organisation advocating for people who stammer has made a huge difference in our journey, and I'm incredibly grateful for everything.

Raising awareness at work

Following all my learning, I had this boost of motivation for sharing this awareness. I've been fortunate to carry this into my professional life at NCFE (Northern Council for Further Education). As an education charity, it's been incredibly encouraging to see how the organisation has embraced neurodiversity in meaningful ways. I was given the opportunity to create a video for Professional Development Week earlier this year, sharing my personal experience and insights, for which people at STAMMA kindly supported me in compiling my script and letting me share the amazing videos on their website 'Sam's Poem' and 'Don't Jump In'. The response was heartwarming, with colleagues reaching out to express their support and appreciation. It reminded me how powerful storytelling can be in driving change.

For Jake, I want a future where his stammer isn't a barrier but a part of his unique voice.

Another impactful change at work came when I suggested a slight alteration to our interview process. This simple addition allows candidates to share anything they'd like interviewers to know ahead of time, such as having a stammer, as some people with stammers don't identify as needing reasonable adjustments or having a disability but just wish to make others aware. It's a small but significant step toward creating a more inclusive and empathetic recruitment experience.

Creating space

But there's still more to do. Awareness is just the beginning. We need to continue creating spaces where people who stammer feel seen, heard and valued. That means educating ourselves, challenging assumptions and advocating for inclusive practices in every area of life — from classrooms to boardrooms.

For Jake, I want a future where his stammer isn't a barrier but a part of his unique voice. I want him to grow up in a world that listens with patience, responds with kindness and celebrates individuality. And for everyone who stammers, I want that same world — one that understands fluency isn't the only measure of communication.

Let's shine a light on stammering. Let's make the world a little more ready — for Jake, for your loved ones, and for everyone who deserves to speak freely and be heard.

Read more articles from parents. And visit our Help for Parents section.

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