I stammer — here's what job interviewers don't see

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Tamara

Tamara Inwang describes the frustration of job interviews that disadvantage people who stammer, and how she's building something to change that.

I still remember my very first job interview. I was so nervous, trying to hold myself together. When it ended, the interviewer smiled and said, "Maybe you should try reading the newspaper out loud every morning to help with your speech". That stung. It wasn't about my skills, my ideas, or what I could bring to the job, just my speech.

I used to think a stammer was a full stop. Every job interview I had I'd walk in braced for the worst. Tongue heavy, words stuck, heart beating through my chest. It wasn't just nerves; it was anxiety and panic. It was the voice in my head saying, 'they're going to judge me before I even finish my first sentence'.

The worst part? You know you're good enough but you're fighting to get others to see past the stammer and see you.

I can't count how many times I ghosted on interviews and the one I did attend, I left it replaying everything, wondering 'did I say enough? Did I say anything right?'. For a long time I believed stammering would always keep me on the back foot.

What people don't see

Most people, on first impressions, see a stammer and think you're nervous, unprepared, even less capable. Interviews are first impressions. But here's what they don't see:

• How much you prepare.
• How much energy and will it takes just to show up and keep going.
• The ideas, passion and skills you can't always get out fluently, but are there. 

The worst part? You know you're good enough but you're fighting to get others to see past the stammer and see you.

Where it broke me (and built me)

If I'm honest, I spent years ducking out of opportunities. Avoiding anything with a panel, group, or 'presentation skills required'. I let job roles go because the process wasn't built for people like me. All those interviews that turned into awkward one-sided performances, those were battle scars.

But I hit a point where I thought: if this is how I feel, what about everyone else who communicates differently? Others like me who just don't fit the 'fluent' box.

• Become a STAMMA Member for free: help make space for stammering.

The switch: using the struggle

This wasn't just about getting by, I wanted to actually thrive. I got tired of thinking 'am I enough?' and started asking 'what if the problem isn't me, but the process?' So I'm doing something different. 

I have experience as a data engineer and I'm using those skills to build something to make job applications more accessible, especially for people who stammer like me or who have other communication differences, who feel overlooked by traditional recruitment processes.

I got tired of thinking 'am I enough?' and started asking 'what if the problem isn't me, but the process?' 

Instead of trying to fit in, I'm working on a platform that lets people create their own video introductions that they can send to employers. I wanted something that gives me my own way to show up, where I can tell my story, prep in my own time and let my real self come through. It's not about being 'perfect', it's about being authentic.

I used to wish my stammer away. But if I don't build something for people like us, who will? My stammer isn't just part of my story, it's my superpower. And maybe, it's the push someone else needs to show up as they are too. 

It's not finished yet, but if you'd like to keep up to date with how it's all going, email STAMMA at editor@stamma.org and they'll pass your details on to me.

What I know now

Here's what my stammer has taught me:

• There's power in being different.
• What you might see as a weakness can be an insight.
• When I stopped fighting to be someone else and build for people like me, I found my edge.

My stammer stopped being the thing holding me back. It become the thing pushing me to build something better, for myself and for every other person who's ever felt overlooked or 'not enough' because of how they speak.

If you're reading this and interviews terrify you, whether you stammer or just hate the pressure, know this: you're not alone. There are a hundred ways to tell your story, and one bad interview doesn't define you.

I'm still that person who sometimes gets stuck on a word and looks for its closest synonym that's not so hard to pronounce. But now, I know that's not the end of my story, it's the reason I started writing a new one and you most definitely can too.

We aren't just our fluency. We're our ideas, our persistence, and the stories we tell, however we tell them.

Read more

• See Stammering & Job Interviews for tips and how to get reasonable adjustments.
• Applying For a Job if you Stammer.
• Stammering at Work.
• Read more Your Voice articles.

Would you like to write an article? Share your experiences, let off steam or tell us what's helping you. See Submit Something For The Site or email editor@stamma.org