Book review: Don't fix me, Hear me

Image

John Russell from the STAMMA volunteer review team shares his thoughts on 'Don't fix me, Hear me' by Endurance Okon.

In Don't fix me, Hear me, Endurance Okon has produced a very personal and thought-provoking memoir about growing up with a stammer, the strategies he used to eventually find his voice, and the benefits that came from doing so.

Endurance begins by stating that his book is not about motivation or wanting to motivate people, which surprised me as throughout the book there are several observations and statements which cannot not motivate or be a source of inspiration.

His story is about the need for understanding, acceptance, and to be heard and listened to. Not to be 'fixed' like a piece of machinery, hence the title. Endurance describes his stammer as words behind a locked door, and trying to find the right key to unlock it. An interesting metaphor, I felt.

Being in class, and anticipating having to read or answer the register were especially challenging for the young Endurance: "It was somewhere to hide as opposed to a place of learning," he observed, as he struggled to find his voice. Part of the author's confidence, not just his voice were silenced.

Endurance's friends and family viewed his stammer as something "to be fixed", and used a variety of 'treatments' which, if used today, might raise eyebrows amongst the safeguarding fraternity. He highlights the fact that many people had opinions about stammering but no-one wanted to listen, or so it seemed. The important skill of listening was bypassed.

At school, he found comfort in being silent. Being silent meant no-one would hear him stammer and deride him for it. Being silent led to what Endurance describes as being "a master at being invisible".

The book will, I am sure, appeal to a wide-range of readers, who will appreciate the openness and the observations.

It was only when he started recording himself speaking, complete with repetitions and pauses, that Endurance realised that he liked the sound of his voice, that it was his to be heard. It didn't have to sound like his peers. He just spoke differently.

Once Endurance had "found his voice" he shared a story with a friend, who told him they felt less isolated.

The author is to be congratulated for understanding and appreciating the expectations — real or imagined — of his family and peer group. Being able to express oneself, as being one of them. He rightly highlights that stammering is beyond just a speech issue.

This book, I believe, will appeal to a lot of young people who stammer in particular, who might be extra sensitive about speaking less than their fluent peers. Endurance shares the impact of being a young person with a stammer, and his fears and anxiety about being "discovered". He states that you are a valued individual with your own voice, and once you find your own voice, you can start impacting the lives of others.

Parents of children who stammer, will, I believe, find this book of value and support too. Supporting a child who stammers by letting them know that they talk differently. That's all. End of!

The book will create a lot of interest and intrigue. If it's not about motivation, what is its purpose? potential readers could ask. That, I think, is its unique selling point.

There is a reference to a "Higher Power" in the acknowledgements section of the book. I am not sure how that might go down with someone who does not follow a religion, as such. But the book will, I am sure, appeal to a wide-range of readers, who will appreciate the openness and the observations. Motivational or not!

Don't fix me, Hear me is a self-published book by Endurance Okon and is available to buy from selar.com.

Thank you to John for reviewing this book for STAMMA.