You don't owe the world an explanation for the pace of your speech

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Naomi

Naomi King tells us how she started to embrace stammering and see it as a strength, which has released her to chase her dreams.

Growing up, I perceived my stammer as a flaw and made an enemy out of it. Basic speaking situations including answering the school register, ordering meals and answering calls were challenges I regularly had to face, publicly. I felt stammering held me back in relationships and academically, and limited opportunities for me.

Resentment and holding grudges against stammering was a tough challenge to face. 

Finding community

That started to change when I found the stammering community and made a group of friends who stammered. Surrounding myself with people in an environment where stammering was normal meant that I did not worry about feeling judged, alienated or like an outcast. Finding a group of friends who made me feel like nothing out of the ordinary helped me embrace my stammer, and in that moment I began to accept it. Connecting with others through shared experiences taught me that I am no longer alone, and for the first time in my life I didn't feel like the only person who stammered.

• Find a local or online stammering group

This experience uplifted me and showed me that our voices are strong, not because they're perfectly fluent, but because we continue to use them, no matter how difficult it may be. I learnt that although I am stammering, everybody is still listening. 

Connecting with others through shared experiences taught me that I am no longer alone, and for the first time in my life I didn't feel like the only person who stammered.

Discovering the achievements of successful celebrities who stammer, such as Jo Biden, Ed Sheeran and Kendrick Lamar, inspired me too and helped me to learn that my message is greater than my hesitation. Admiring the achievements of stammering celebrities taught me that my future should be bigger than my self-doubts.

All this led me to start involving myself in voluntary work and fundraisers for STAMMA and other stammering organisations, and I grew my passion for supporting children who struggle to manage their wellbeing around their stammer. 

Stammering unapologetically

My journey made me see that letting go of the animosity and stammering unapologetically is an important quality to foster, for me, because it shows the world that you are unashamed of your speech. Always remember, most people care more about what you say than how you say it and that the value of your words stays the same no matter how long it takes you to say something. 

You don't owe the world an explanation for the pace of your speech. It takes courage to openly stammer before strangers but by doing so, I'm showing them my resilience — this gives me the confidence to proudly power through. I believe that to truly overcome the challenges of living with a stammer, all you need to do is keep talking. Each time you speak with resilience and bravery you can use your voice to brighten someone's day.

Having the boldness to manipulate the effect my stammer has on my life, prevented it from holding me back anymore. 

Furthermore, chasing flawless fluency puts pressure on you and can make you stammer more, whereas removing all animosity towards stammering can release apprehension and nervousness where stammering is triggered.

Stammering strengths

Accepting my voice didn't make my stammer disappear, but it helped me stop letting it define me. But I'm not fearless. Sometimes I struggle to shake the fear of judgement, mockery and embarrassment. But I have learnt that the moment I become scared, I'm growing. That's where I became comfortable being uncomfortable. So, I see stammering as a strength, not a weakness. 

I believe my stammer is my superpower because it has sparked my sense of compassion. I understand what it's like to feel vulnerable so I can effortlessly treat others empathetically. Furthermore, speaking up despite feeling apprehensive while facing difficult speaking situations has built determination and perseverance, so I have learned to love and accept my stammer. 

Also, stammering sharpens my communication skills by making me a better listener; I recognise the value in being heard, so I am not always in a hurry to speak. 

Having the boldness to manipulate the effect my stammer has on my life, prevented it from holding me back anymore. So, I can now freely chase my dreams. Finding my self-confidence and ambition has empowered me to leave a big thumbprint on everything that I do; knowing that I am in the driver's seat and courageous enough to manage anything that comes my way.

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