Blog: Keeping the STAMMAFest spark alive

Monday 19th August 2024 - 11:18

Our Web Editor Steven writes about post-conference highs and lows — how we can process thoughts and feelings, and take forward everything we've experienced.

If you attended our conference these last four days, how are you feeling? Are you on a high, feeling inspired and wondering how to keep up the momentum? Or have you got the post-conference blues? Or maybe a bit of both.

I know the feeling. I've been to six STAMMA/BSA conferences now and every time on the train home I've experienced a strange mix of emotions. Firstly, there's a strong tinge of sadness at knowing that I'll really miss the camaraderie, the friendships and the sense of belonging that I've felt over the last four days.

On the other hand there's this feeling of being energised, fired up and inspired to get myself out and talking to people more, or to do more to raise awareness. I can feel like a more confident and outgoing, more optimistic version of my usual self. That's the power of the conference.

But then in the past I've gone back to normality and fallen back into my daily routine. Working from home and not speaking to many people. Going back to a social life that isn't exactly 'buzzing'. After a while the post-conference sheen of positivity and optimism starts to fade. True, the memories of the event are there, indelible and invaluable. But the newfound confidence starts to ebb and I feel as I did before.

What can we do to change this? How can we keep up the positivity and momentum after leaving the STAMMAfest bubble?

Get your thoughts down

Your mind might be racing with ideas, plans and thoughts from the conference. Was there a workshop that stood out for you? Did one of the speakers or anyone you met say something that really resonated with you? Make a note of it and get it all down while it's fresh in your mind and use it as something to refer back to and keep you inspired.

Or do a bit of journalling to help you process all that happened and express how you feel right now. Write down all the positives, the people you met, the small wins, or things you'd like to do next. Or use it to vent or get down anything else that's on your mind. Vee, our Campaigns & Communities Manager, has written a great blog about journalling, with some tips on getting started.

Or, tell us how STAMMAFest was for you. Write an article for our Your Voice section to share your feelings or tips with others. Email me at editor@stamma.org and I'll give you more details.

"Lean into the community"

I noted this down from someone who got up and spoke at the open mic session on Sunday. She said to the audience that if you want to make changes in your life "you can do if for yourself, but not by yourself". There's a whole community of people who stammer outside of the conference. Find your local group, or an online one, on our Communities & Groups page and connect with others.

Nothing near you?

If there isn't a group near you and you're feeling fired up to start something, DO IT! Grab the bull by its horns while you still have that drive. It doesn't have to involve lots of organisation like finding a venue — you could just arrange a trip to a coffee shop or a pub. Vee, our Communities Lead can help you with this. Email her at communities@stamma.org and she'll tell you all you need to know.

Also, join the STAMMAFest Facebook group to chat with others who were there.

You can also join our STAMMA: Space for Stammering Facebook group and follow us on Instagram, Facebook and X.

Talk about things

You might find that you're feeling a bit braver. Having spent all year doing your best to conceal stammering, after STAMMAFest you might be feeling more courageous to either stammer openly or talk to someone about it. Take advantage of this feeling. By talking about it more you can build on the confidence you came back from the conference with.

If someone at work asks you what you did at the weekend, tell them where you've been and what you got out of it and talk to your loved ones or friends. Use it as chance to open up and start conversations. Let people know more about you. Note the reactions you get — are they as bad as you thought they would be? How do you feel after doing it?

You'll not only be building confidence, you'll be raising awareness by helping people understand more about stammering and the best things they can do when talking to you and others who stammer.

Give us a call

Talking to other people might feel a step too far at the moment. You might not feel that others would understand. But you might really want to talk about your experience at STAMMAFest and debrief. Why not call our helpline on 0808 802 0002? Or start a webchat if you prefer. It's not just for people looking for help. You can call to chat to someone who understands stammering. We're open Monday to Thursdays, 10am-2pm and 4pm-8pm. All our volunteers are lovely and great at making callers feel comfortable.

Set goals (but be kind to yourself)

Setting yourself goals can be a good way to keep up post-conference momentum. For instance, it could be something like: 'I'm going to try and order what I really want in restaurants instead of what I can say', or 'I'll start more conversations with colleagues instead of avoiding them'.

Put realistic figures on your goals and don't put pressure on yourself. I remember once setting myself a goal of asking directions from someone in the street every day to try and increase my confidence. It started well but when I fell short one day I beat myself up and got discouraged. Instead, I should have set the goal as: 'I'm going to aim to ask people for directions. If I don't feel like it on certain days, that's okay'.

If you do think you'd benefit from more rigid goals, then go for it. Just be kind to yourself.

Get reasonable adjustments

You might be feeling more confident in bringing the subject up with your employer, lecturer or teacher, and letting them know if anything could be changed to help you perform better. If so, see our Reasonable Adjustments for Stammering page to find out how you can start the conversation and what adjustments you could ask for.

Raise awareness locally

Some of you might have come away from STAMMAFest feeling inspired and motivated to make a difference to society at large. To do something to help change perceptions and end the stigma.

Why not do a talk about what it's like to stammer, dispel misconceptions and educate the public on the best thing to do when speaking to someone who stammers? You could approach your school, work or your local library, as John Russell did early this year. Contact us if you want support, at help@stamma.org

Join a public speaking club

If you spoke at the open mic and got a taste for it, why not join a public speaking club and develop your skills talking in front of others? I've been to a few myself — the great thing is that people there can only give positive feedback, so you don't have to worry about being judged on your stammer. And you can just go along and watch to see if you like it. Find a Toastmasters club or an Association of Speakers club near you.

Conclusion

These conferences can change lives and the way we feel about ourselves. But it can be so easy to fall back into your old routine and unhelpful thought patterns. Be open to the possibilities, do something no matter how small. Reach out to the community, or watch from the outside and get more involved whenever you want to. There's a whole community out there – you've made the first step, so take some more steps and keep that spark alive.